The symptoms include itchiness, shortness of breath, disorientation, bouts of overwhelming doubt, and in various measures, feelings of rage, hopelessness and despair, provoked by experiences that do not warrant such reactions. Treatment may include alcohol, recreational drugs, masturbation, shouting as loud as you can at inanimate objects and/or god, ice cream, self-mutilation, joining the Peace Corps, and fantasy suicide. Also, apparently, poetry.